I will start by saying I am a person who loves order and to plan ahead. I love to know where I am going and what my next few steps will be… and then along came 2015.
A brief over view of my year – My husband had a temporary job at the beginning of the year, after some months the contract came to an end so he had to find a new job fast. He managed to find a permanent job in the short space of time he had. But a few months down the line he now hates this job. Working long shifts and the work itself is very gruelling. Not exactly his dream career. He is having to work long shifts, day & night, which means he often misses church, connect group and it has a strain on our family life, relationship and social life. Alongside that we had to move out of our 1 bedroom house last July because we out-grew our house. Having a 1 year old in our bedroom was not ideal and our living space was tiny, so we decided to move in with my mum (temporarily) with the intention to sell our house by the end of the year and then buy a bigger house.
7 months later our house still hasn’t sold. Slight problem. We are now stuck. We can’t move out of my mums house because we can’t afford to buy another house or even rent a house with a mortgage to pay. What do we do? Do we wait another 6 months to see if it sells? Do we rent it out and then rent somewhere for ourselves to live? Where do we go from here?
I have had times over the last year where I have felt anxious, stressed, panicked, low and hopeless. My emotions have been all over the place. So may giants were being thrown our way. Life was a mess and it was all going wrong.
One night when I was feeling particularly overwhelmed by everything.. God spoke to me.
..He said “Look at your husband. His faith in me has grown so much in this last year. His confidence in me has grown. He has grown so much closer to me. Yes you have had many giants to face this year. But I am strengthening you both. I am teaching you to trust me and to lean on me. I am over all things. You had forgotten. You were planning your own steps. You were doing things in your own strength. You have been asking me for miracles but yet you weren’t giving me space to move. You need to trust me. Trust my plans and not your own. You don’t need to see where you are going, you don’t need to see the next step. It is ok. I will always have your next step in place. You desire a job for your husband that he loves and you desire a house for your children to grow up in, a place where they will make memories. I know all your desires, your desires are from me, I want to give you these things. But first you need to stop. You need to look to me. You need to trust in my plan for you. Your desires will be fulfilled in my timing. I have used your giants to teach you things which have strengthened you. You are where I want you to be. I have so many great plans for you. Remember this year. It will remind you that I am here to help you, I am here to grow you to lead you. You need my strength. Lean into me and I will give you the strength you need.”
Wow. That was just what I needed to hear. I had been praying and asking and praying for months.. but I wasn’t truly trusting that he could actually do the things I was praying for. I realise that now. I need to trust him.
It is so easy to get knocked down when everything seems to be coming against you. When your plans are not panning out the way that you had hoped. But God is there waiting and wanting you to surrender all to him. He has everything you need peace, patience, strength, hope… Are you leaning into him? Do you need hope? Do you need peace? You can have it! Just stop where you are. God can step in at any moment. He wants to help. It is ok if you plan isn’t working out, its is because God has a different plan for you. An even better plan.
Not so long ago I felt stuck. But now I know I am not. I am where God wants me. He knows where he is taking me and my husband. He has better plans for us than we could ever dream possible. I still can’t see what our next step is, or where what our lives will look like at the end of this year. But that doesn’t worry me anymore. I have peace about our future. God is over all.
God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. Psalm 46:1
‘God does not look upon trouble as we do. Where we see stress he sees opportunities. Where we see crisis, He sees growth and improvement. God’s purpose in times of crisis and trouble is to teach us lessons. They are intended to educate, and build us up. And when we learn from them and ride out these storms of life, we will see the great promise fulfilled. We can learn to make our life joy filled by seizing the crisis and growing from it. To become the person that we are capable of being for our benefit and His glory’ – Richard J. Krejcir
I hope that this post encourages you in some small way.